"A writer is one who, embarking upon a task, does not know what to do." -- Donald Barthelme
"Our deep selves welcome our catastrophes." -- John Updike
"You don't use adjectives when you're serious." -- Kingsley Amis

Contact:    james   jameswarner   net

Some very short pieces of mine to read online:

Lacanian Jokes of the Day (McSweeney's Internet Tendency)
Nixon and Cookie Monster: The Friendship That Transformed America (Yankee Pot Roast)
How I, the Monster, Feel When Your Husband Wakes Up (Word Riot)
Return to Tannu Uriankhai (Eclectica)
How To Read Arnulf Vogelsang (Pindeldyboz)
A Medieval Bestiary of Vegetables (Monkey Bicycle)
Problems Faced by Victorian Paparazzi (Eyeshot)
Mickey Mouse Fights Bugs Bunny In Vegas, As Reported On By Norman Mailer (The Big Jewel)
Raskolnikov Meets Dr. Phil (Yankee Pot Roast)
"What Was What, What Wasn't" (The Big Jewel)
Some Haiku By Elmer Fudd (The Big Jewel)
Situation Report From Oz (McSweeney's Internet Tendency)